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I Am What I Am.

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【肆意的窗】

曾今想在窗户边摆上几个盆栽 幻想着阳光透过绿荫的意境

葱葱绿意总是令人心生美好 自然朝气的蓬勃生辉 给失意的人生添上希望的光彩

透过窗 看得见阳光肆意纵横 看得见风雨雷电交加 看得见万物 看得见丛生

透过窗 回想当年你传递信纸的样子

阳光的背射把你的身形变成剪影 刺眼的光晕看不清你的容颜

透过窗 栩栩生灵在蓝天中纵享翱翔 心也随着飞向远方

曾经在心里默默许下千百个相同的愿望 上帝啊 求你千万别关上那一扇肆意的窗

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【远足】

从前只觉得 旅行是一群人的事

渐渐只觉得 旅行是两个人的事

现在只觉得 旅行 原来一直只有我一个人

从什么时候开始 旅行变得不再美好 不再是为了观赏世间美景

从什么时候开始 旅行变得如此虚浮 只是为了不再面对自身处境

现在回想 旅行的意义被渐渐模糊 是在你选择离我而去之后

我更加愿意把旅行 说成是一个人的远足

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【虚无】

墨菲斯曾说 人一旦进入虚无 就永远也摆脱不了

在次元的时间轴里永远幻变成一个无知无觉的黑影

只有极少数的人 才能凭借着意志存活下去

但我知道我永远不会是极少数中的一个

这个世界 已经没有一个生灵能感受我的感受

我想融入的那可怕的虚无中 让我的懦弱无处遁形

我愿意抛开这一切

尽管我拥有我的父母和兄长 然而这是有些人一辈子无法再次拥有的

我愿意抛开这一切

苦闷繁重的枷锁束缚着我软弱的神经 什么时候才能得到解脱

我愿意抛开这一切

愿意为自己的罪恶负出沉重的代价 即使对于我来说这不是代价而是获释

我愿意抛开这一切

希望这一次 不要再有人来阻止我迈向虚无的步伐

我愿意幻作一团黑影 泡沫般的虚浮飘荡

我只觉得身子变轻了 没有地心引力的牵制 这时的我才是自由的——

从我义无反顾跳下来的那一刻

(以这段文字缅怀我跳楼自杀的同级同学 希望你在天堂安好)

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【南极与北极】

你在北极 我在南极

你向我挥挥手臂 我向你回音致意

你说你那里冬天很冷 冰层渐渐开始融化 你屋子的四处都已是冰冷的海水

你说你那里的北极熊开始陆续被饿死 因为温室效应 每次看到它们你都会流泪

你说你那里的极夜很可怖 冷风从来没有停止过它的疯狂怒号

你问我 亲爱的 南极还好吗

我只能默默地忍住眼泪 笑着说 我这里一切安好

(悲伤 从来不是你一个人的事)

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【浮华生梦】

庄生晓梦 昙花一现

你在我指尖留下的层层叠影 我在你肩头刻下的点点心间

梦里的缠缠绵绵 赤裸的深情切切

我抚摸你的脸 从眉间到下唇边缘

万物逢生终将泡影 蝶恋花祭行行匆匆

遇见你 可否不是那匆匆一眼 我希望是永恒孓恋

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【迷途】

我千百般的确信 你就真真实实在我眼前

被无知的力量扣留 好想紧紧握住你熟悉的手

而我却身陷迷途 百思不得其解中倦怠落寞

最可恨我自己 始终找不清楚方向 始终感知不了你渴望的呼求

但请你别抛弃我 请为我坚持到最后

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